Strange things, strange feelings, a bit depressed this week. I'm not sure how I felt about the class. I guess so much work is piling up, and it's all getting a bit weird and full in my head. It was nice to listen to, and recap on the improvisation topic. There was some really interesting things going on, some beautiful music happening. I've really fallen for Mamoru Fujieda. Gorgeous work. I've been trying to find his work, but nowhere stocks it. I'll be glad when I finally get my unlimited broadband connected and can start downloading music from home (uni internet is SLOOOOOOOW). The Burundi music was great too. I'm totally way more into hearing music from non western cultures than hearing shit like The Necks. The Necks kinda bore me. All my friends get off on that shit, but I feel like it's a bit of a farce. I don't mean to say that they're bad improvisers, or bad players, just their music isn't interesting to me. In fact, it's tiring and self indulgent, and I think they know it. Their music just feels arrogant. I'd much rather be in the audience for that Fujieda work. That was really engaging and there's a modesty in his work that connects with me. It feels inviting. It has a surface element of self indulgence, but it allows you to find space to enjoy it, rather than just pushing along without care or context. The Burundi music was just fun. Felt like being part of a ritual, or party, or party ritual. That elasticity is something I've always wanted to achieve in my old Glasfrosch tune Requiem. That, in the recorded sense was always really metronomical (like all our stuff) and structured, but I'd love to be able to do that piece with more elasticity, and just build it organically. The organic/elastic debate, and the reference to scale has a real impact on what I'm making right now. I'm trying to make sense of it all, there's so much I've absorbed and trying to be aware of, but I'm still really struggling with these new pieces. So I'm trying to focus all my energy on the Volume project for T&P, and Ableton project in Audio tech, and hoping that if I use these as "study works" then maybe all these things I'm pouring into them consciously with reveal themselves in my process.
Something that has happened this week that has really helped me to make sense of where I'm at at the moment, is a fresh perspective on the band and making music for/in a band. I've realised that I've been trying to see the music as the "work", and the band as the "artist", but really, the band is part of the work too. In fact, really, the band, Glasfrosch, is the art, and the music is just the smaller elements of that. When I think of it like this, it makes more sense. In the way I conduct the group, the collaborative process with visual artists, the imagery of the band, what it stands for etc. It's an ongoing, multifaceted, multimedia artwork unto itself. Then, if I am the artist, and the band is my creation, this view helps me see a context for different sounding work outside of that work. These things can still inform each other, but suddenly don't clash in the way i had been prioritizing them in my mind. I'm still figuring out how this all works/fits together. I've been writing in my vocabulary journal a lot about sounds and actions and things that are "Glasfrosch" things, and have made some great discoverie/revelations and such from the process. Hopefully this will help push me through to the next level, and I can get out of this slump that I've been in this week. We're finally moving our cat into our apartment, and that'll help cheer me up.
So I've become pretty dissolutioned with the Volume project. I've made some stuff that i really liked. Then I hated it for a while. I made some more, liked it, hated it, liked it again. Today I hate it. I'm just not interested in making music like this. It feels like a waste. Like I have to make a piece that ignores everything I value in music. Similarly with Audio Tech's Ableton project, I'm just not enjoying it. I want to focus more energy on making something that's me. So far I've made one piece this year that I value, and it's all happened completely outside the course. I understand that these projects are here to help us in our larger work, but if we're just making study pieces in every class, I'm gonna get real bored real quick. I've been talking to the students in some of the other studio areas, and they make so much and share it all the time. Their practical workload and folio requirements are huge and sound really inspiring. I've got 4 subjects worth of reading and writing to do every week, and a couple of tiny little practical assignments. It feels like my practice more or less dried up and died in the first half of the semester.
This dissolution is totally a phase though, probably part of my depression, because I didn't feel this way last week. Last week I was super positive about it all. I know these are the challenges of art school, and hope that i'll be in a better place soon emotionally.
So now that that's all out of my system, I can talk about the interdisciplinary music we looked at. There was some really cool examples of film music and other stuff played in class. Let's start with the reading: Tarkovsky. I liked the reading. It was easy to digest. I don't really agree with him, but at least he's clear. He seems to think that music in film is unnatural, and hence unnecessary. I think film, like all art, shouldn't try to be a perfect representation of life/the real world, and style - for example, the choice of sound/music/etc in film - is what makes the film's impact on the world/audience. I think it's a totally valid and valuable approach to film, to only use diegetic sound, but perhaps not the only way. I loved seeing how he uses sound in his work (The Mirror), but I don't think this is a universally relevant approach. Example, the shmultz of Badelamenti's love theme in the scene from Wild At Heart that we watched. I love the way Badelamenti scores. He's a master of creeping in out of nowhere and drawing you into a particular moment. Like Tarkovsky says, his music isn't there to always push the feeling down your throat. Much of his work in Lynch's movies is there to sustain the suspense and confusion. What could possibly be happening? Twin Peaks is a great example of that. Often long drones accompany scenes that are quite quirky, or light jazz themes play around the characters, creating relationships that may or may not become relevant/apparent for ages, but the speculation becomes open. In this scene from Wild At Heart, the music is an obvious emoticon, but I refuse to accept that as bad thing (what's with me today? I'm in such a mood of extremes).
I was really into the Altered States title sequence. Gotta track down that film. My local video store is shit and doesn't have anything. It's good to be thinking about film/visually accompanied music. It's really where I see myself headed (outside the band pursuits). I've been trying to befriend as many visual and film artists this year as I can. So I can build some new relationships and make interesting new work. I feel like there's a wall up around me with signs on it saying avoid this guy, he's no good. I mean, is that stupid or what?!? I need therapy.
Daisies. Well, weird film. We can all agree on that. I would have loved this 10 years ago. The sound was amazing. I'm definitely going to track this one down for my collection. I want to get back into doing improvised film soundtracks again. I used to do it regularly. I'd love to approach this kind of sound score with a improvised band, live on stage. It's a wanky art school word, but the juxtaposition of sound on narrative is a really interesting thing. Approaching it in music (non film music) is an interesting idea. Something like the work David Shea does, like in Hsi Yu Chi or Satyricon, sample collage/narrative. I used to be so in touch with this stuff, but it feels like all I'm in touch with now is pop. I'm interested in trying this out in something, but what it is I don't know. I reckon this week would have been a great week to have a semester break. felt like we had it way too early, but now I really need it.
I don't know if this blog is really anything worth reading, but it's been cathartic to spew it out today. My plans for the week are to finish some projects and make some new Glasfrosch demos, get our remix EP mastered, and book some gigs. Booking performances is a depressing process. Hopefully by next week I'll be a little more positive.
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